Stupid Headlines

[[CoaL]Sythril]

STUPID HEADLINES



Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter

This one I caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this. It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!!! They put in a correction the next day.


Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
No, really?


Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

Now that's taking things a bit far!


Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over


What a guy!


Miners Refuse to Work after Death

No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's


Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

See if that works any better than a fair trial!

War Dims Hope for Peace

I can see where it might have that effect




If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile


Ya think?!

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

Who would have thought!



Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide !

They may be on to something


Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges


You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?!

Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge


He probably IS the battery charge


New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group


Weren't they fat enough?!

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft


That's what he gets for eating those beans!




Kids Make Nutritious Snacks


If Cooked Correctly Do they taste like chicken?


Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half


Chainsaw Massacre all over again!







Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

Boy, are they tall



And the winner is....

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead!

Did I read that right?